dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
fuck your aforementioned shoe
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
