Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
