his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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