I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
