Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just pee around me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
