It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
