Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
