didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
