i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
