Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
