Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
