Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
