Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
