should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
