You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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