I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
