I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
