i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
