This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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