your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
