I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
