Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
