Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
