i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
