Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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