so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
