Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I believe in your delicious
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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