Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
