someone get that fucking seahorse.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize