Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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