I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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