And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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