and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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