I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
