he wants to bone in the snuggie
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
