people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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