When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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