Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dick very happy bro
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