I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
What did we do last night that was yellow?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
