Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
