just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
