My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
