Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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