she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize