I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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