I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
