i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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