Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
