By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
