where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
