Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
