she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
