If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
