The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
