So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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