first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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