I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm too high and old for this...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
