I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
