He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
