She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Found the puke drawer
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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