Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
