Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
