Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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