Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
