I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
