she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize