just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize