David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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