Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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