I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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