Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
