i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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