I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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