i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
