Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize