well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
