Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
