Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize