Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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