We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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