since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
