I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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