ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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