she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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