Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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