I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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