TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
