What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
