Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
