you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
