The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
